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Black Coffee and Humanity

I stayed by my usual seat today. The air was warm and everyone was talking to each other. They were not very noisy. When Gregor saw that I had woken up, he followed and took his seat by the window. We often switch places, because I barely had interest in what was outside nowadays.
We spoke to each other about current events. What happened back there was not too important to me. He talked about many details that I already knew about.
Our conversation shifted into deeper topics. I found it sudden, but that's alright. When he turned his head back at me, he asked a question that made me think.
Gregor Sinner #13
Say, Meursault. You know a lot about N Corp, don't ya?
Gregor Sinner #13
What do you think mother's planning to do with me?
With all the current information at hand, it was understandable that he would ask me this kind of question. I worked in that particular district in the past. Having that said, I told him:
Meursault Sinner #5
I am not sure. There are too many possibilities for her plans given the nature of the technologies readily available.
Gregor Sinner #13
That's not helpful...
I apologized to him. I hadn't realized my statement was not helpful. I could tell Gregor was upset, but not towards me. He cannot be blamed for dwelling over what the Director was planning to do with him.
It didn't feel right to leave it there, so I asked Gregor if he wanted an elaboration. Maybe if I talked about it, he would find an answer.
Gregor Sinner #13
Well, we've got all day. Sure, bud. Lay it on me.
I began to give an insight based on my understanding. Even in the Nest, the leadership imposed strict laws on the people. The taboos were not to be broken lest they send hunters for punishment. You could not even consider the thought of breaking something considered minor without eyes watching your every move.
Back then, looking around, even someone like me could tell a lot of people were unhappy with their life. When I told that, Gregor nodded. I think he was being sympathetic.
Because I often read the news I would hear of new "fads" and see advertisements relating to the vending machines. Plenty of the youth would overuse the different kinds of contents, leading to addictions.
I took a dosage once, I told him, and my mind felt like it transferred into a beach. Sands and the oceans overwhelmed me. A reminder of what did not exist.
Gregor Sinner #13
Oh, yeah. What did they call them..."canned experiences" was it? That doesn't sound very appealing.
Meursault Sinner #5
My experience, I didn't like nor dislike it. I thought it was strange overall, but my friend had fun, so I didn't say anything.
Gregor Sinner #13
Y'know, if I were them, I wouldn't be indulging in those kinds of vices. Natural memories are what make you human!
I fell into silence to process what Gregor said. What makes them human and what makes us human, I think, has some differences. But ultimately, the achievement was to cling onto emotions.
Meursault Sinner #5
Regardless of the method, people yearn to have experience. Many would think it's a waste, not "living" the way one would wish.
Meursault Sinner #5
Rather than change the overall environment, those in the Nest of District 14 would change themselves. At least, I believe that would be their intention.
Gregor began to pout. He stared into the air with deep thought. And as he did, I started to wonder too.
Citizens from other Nests would travel all the way to strip themselves of their own identity to live the facade of brigher mornings. In the past, I wondered why people could not just choose to live bolder or simpler if everything was a choice.
Then I thought one morning, "Maybe not everything is a choice." because then, it would not be my right to judge others for not "living" due to circumstance.
I would read the newspaper, drink black coffee and smoke as substitute for breakfast. I had work, and I worked for people who did not care if I lived or died.
Gregor was different. I did not know Gregor's life in full detail, but I knew enough that he could comfortably ask me questions on understanding the back of one's mind.
Now having this in mind, perhaps the modifications that had been done to him exist for reasons relating to our conversation now. The essence of humanity was in every individual and those above us wish to harness it for their own advantages.
Gregor Sinner #13
If we could change the world around us, 'think a lot less people would be giving their kids joy-infused toys or somethin' like that.
Gregor Sinner #13
Everyone wants to be happy and not everyone gets to be...
Gregor Sinner #13
Hm. Not everyone gets to be.
Gregor Sinner #13
.....
He slumped back into his seat. A soldier such as him probably once had dreams. Whatever such dreams may be, they were taken away very early in his life.
In one milisecond I considered the possibility of going back in time to stop such incidents. But there wouldn't be any use. And it was not a viable solution anyhow.
Gregor Sinner #13
Oh, man...mother's probably going to do something about that in the worst way possible.
Although I might have found the answer to his lingering thoughts, it didn't feel like my place to tell him speculations with only a little bit of basis.
Some part of me did not want to be honest, but I did not want to lie either.
Meursault Sinner #5
N Corp has patents for devices that redefine you as a person. It would be best to prepare for that possibility.
There was nothing encouraging I could tell Gregor. He knew that much.
Gregor Sinner #13
Forget it. We should go get a drink. Or see what everyone else's up to.
Meursault Sinner #5
Yes. We should.
Someday there might be a time where I can provide comments about life and everything it stands for. Gregor will be there to listen, I think.
Still, the day passes, and I leave myself to question it all in my own head.